My Son

I would like to announce that my son incontinent, and I couldn’t be more proud.

My son babbles in incoherent syllables, and I couldn’t be more proud.

My son is an egocentric little whiner who screams and throws a tantrum whenever the world doesn’t revolve around him. But even then, I couldn’t be more proud.

My son is nearly five months old.

It would be absurd for me to even consider waiting for him to impress me before thinking him worthy of my love. He rolls over, I cheer. He grabs a blanket to stuff in his mouth, I clap. He grabs my hair and gives it a good yank…I scream, but I still love my son.

Anything he can do, I can do better. Yet, he’s the one I brag about. He’s the person I tell stories about in church or at the store or with total strangers on the bus…

I brag about my incontinent, incoherent, unproductive, exhausting, demanding, needy, whiny, egocentrical son.

And why?

Isn’t it obvious?

Haven’t I already told you a dozen times?

He’s my son.

And because he’s my son, the very sight of him fills my heart with joy.

Because he’s my son, I sing a lot more.

Because he’s my son, his laugh is like music. His smile is like diamonds. The word “precious” doesn’t even begin to cover what Koen means to me, because he’s my son.

It is a curious thing that he would come into my life now.

It is a curious thing that after telling God I really needed to see Him as loving, Jill would announce that she’s pregnant.

It is a curious thing that while I approached fatherhood with such an excitement for what I could teach Koen, I didn’t account for what he would be teaching me.

Koen has taught me what I look like from God’s point of view. Incontinent with besetting sins, incoherent with prayers on autopilot that tend to drift into a completely unrelated day dream, selfish prayers that demand this or that or throw tantrums…

And yet, I am completely, unashamedly, and boundlessly loved. Not for what I’ve accomplished—for anything I can do, God can do better. But because He created me.

That’s a good enough reason for me to love my son.

That’s a good enough reason for Him, too.